Who Am I?

Weird question? Common question? Unanswerable question?

Ans: True!

**This is going to be one long blog!!

We are all a combination of the picture we have of ourselves and that which others have of us.
Unfortunately we rarely ever get to know what other people truly think of us.

So now what I am left with is: Who do I think I am? What are my thoughts on life - mine and in general?

Serious, outspoken, hyperactive, emotional, strong, bull headed, hot tempered are words that come to my mind. But, isn't everyone over crititcal about themselves? ;-)
So I guess I am sweet, angelic, kind, generous, soft spoken and charming!!

I live the way I want to and for the most part do not like people telling me what to do. I try to be just and objective in my thoughts and actions even if it hurts. I am pretty opinionated, though I may not share my thoughts. However, here are some random aspects of life and my thoughts on them.

Family - Mom, Dad, Sis and I form my immediate family. My extended family is HUGE! I have family in every continent. Family always comes first. Well almost always ;-) Sometimes you need a break from it all. Some unseen strings (very elastic ones) always seem to pull you back though.

Friends - I used to think that I am selective and have very few friends. I tried counting them right now and I have so many. Most of these are really good friends. People who I wouldn't want to lose and most of them would not want to lose me. I think that is what true friendship is about - not losing the person even when you are not near them. This encompasses a lot. It means to be there for them when they need you even if you haven't heard from them in a while, keeping in touch to the best you can, laugh with then, cry with them, share life's little moments with them.

Enemies - I truly don't think anyone really hates me. Jealous girlfriends don't count ;-) I don't like a few people, but I wouldn't put it down as hating them. I would just rather keep my distance.

Work - Have always worked for one company. Loyalty? Naaa.... Inertia? Big time! I like what I do though. I am a software engineer and will always be a techie at heart. Management comes with the territory as you grow, but I keep messing with programming and tend to linger in there for a while. Lost in motion and MOVE from one VARIABLE to another in LOOPS and FLOW with unseen LOGIC.

Money - I have never scrounged...ever! We live only once and all my money is not going to come with me to heaven/hell when I die. So why not spend it now and actually enjoy it? This does not mean that I do not save. A considerable part of my income does go into the bank for the rainy day. I like splurging once in a while though. An expensive gym membership, diamond pendant - coz I am worth it and maybe a day in the spa :-)

Love - People who have not experienced this have missed out on something great. I have had and lost love more than once and it is alright. It is one of the most fulfilling feelings to be in love with someone and spend time with them. Everything they say about the sun shining brighter, the days seeming warmer, the rain being sweet - All true. Losing it does hurt, but life does move on and the heart does heal. It sure as hell does not feel like it when you are going through a breakup, but it gets better. Trust me :)

Learning - In Septemeber 2009 a few wise words were showered on me.
Before that lets start with what I believe. I think that it is more important to be healthy and fit than be beautiful and frail. I have lived my life to this effect. I run outside in the sun. The tan does not bother me. I rarely wear makeup. I workout regularly and try any outdoor activity. Team sports are not my cup of tea, but skating, running, canoeing are things I will jump up and do at the drop of a hat.

Now back to the wise words:
1> We live only once and if we have to die at 66, we will. So live life to the fullest. Do everything that you want to do. Do not bother about what people think. Sometimes it is worth taking risks and putting a lot on the line. Always take the path less trodden. You may end up in the same place as the end of the well trodden path, but the journey would be much more exciting - I have taken this to heart and never say no to anything that sounds remotely interesting. I decided to give my GRE and go on a trip to the canyons in a second and that is just what I did. Why not?

2> Who said you cannot be active and look good at the same time? What occasion are you waiting for to dress up or take care of your self? - This one is tough to follow. It takes some convincing to even get myself to go brush, floss and rinse before I go to bed. However, it is true. Why not dress well? After all people can see you all day long everyday. Your impression is not made at one fancy dress party, but the way you look and behave all the time.

Aspirations - This is one tough topic and I am not sure many people really know what they want to be or want from life. I don't know clearly either. I do know that I don't want to one of those people who are lost in time once they make their exit. I need to have done something with my life. Be immortal in some way to someone.

Running - Ask anyone what my favorite thing in the world to do is and they will have the same answer. I am not a fast runner or a great endurance runner. I love it nonetheless. One of my best friends, Forrest, introduced me to this sport. I was always active and worked out regularly. But he asked me to start taking part in some fun runs and that got me addicted. I have been running for the past 1.5 years and I fills me with a sense of accomplishment and inner strength. I have run my first Half Marathon on the 15th of August. Did not do well as I did not train in the four weeks leading up to it due to 3 leg injuries. Did it though and am damn happy about it!!

Likes -
Non Fiction books with a story to tell
Sitting by the ocean
Sand Castles
Photography
Dogs
Ice Tea

Dislikes -
Politics - be it international, national, local or official.
Dirty Nails
Liars
Karela
Insects and Lizards
Slow people - mentally or physically

Life has not been all hunky-dory, but it has made me who I am. I am happy to be me and I wouldn't change me for the world. Like it is said somewhere - I am my favorite!!